Oxytocin — The “LOVE” Hormone

Testosterone and estrogen get a lot of play regarding their respective roles in stoking sexual interest, arousal, and all things intimacy. But the unsung hero of the love connection is a little known peptide called oxytocin.

What Is Oxytocin?

Oxytocin is a hormone made in the hypothalamus, the so-called “control center” of the brain. It acts as a chemical messenger that binds to receptors all over the body with a wide range of effects. Here is the interesting thing about oxytocin, and by interesting I mean weird and confusing: It’s known primarily as a female hormone released during LABOR to cause contractions and LACTATION to let down breast milk. Contractions and lactation are not exactly two of the most romantic action words I’ve come across, and they certainly don’t scream aphrodisiac to anyone involved. However, oxytocin does in fact have a lot to do with emotional connection and sexual pleasure.

Why Is Oxytocin Called The Love Hormone?

When we feel safe, happy and connected, we make more of these so-called feel good hormones: dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Believe it or not, oxytocin shares some chemical properties with endorphins, opiate like chemicals made by the body to soothe ourselves in times of pain or stress. Women release oxytocin to COPE with stress, while men release testosterone to do the same thing. When a man’s testosterone goes up, his stress level comes down. Not true for women. Testosterone may give her a sense of power and confidence but it doesn’t lower her stress level. In fact, too much testosterone can make her anxious and irritable. Not a recipe for romance in any Love Cookbook that I know…

What Does Oxytocin Do?

• Oxytocin helps combat the effects of “fight or flight” sympathetic nervous system activation
• It is linked to feeling calm and better handling stress
• It improves feelings of emotional connection
• It fuels feelings of compassion and empathy to others
• It helps with social bonding but works on a positive feedback loop where social contact leads to the release of oxytocin
• Some animal studies show that oxytocin can reduce signs of depression and anxiety in stressed animals
• It may lead to weight loss due to reduced appetite
• It plays a role in orgasm intensity and is found in high levels as a result of romantic attachments.

How Does This Relate To Romance and Enhanced Sexual Interest & Performance?

Well, it goes back to a really important saying: “Men have sex to relax and women need to be relaxed to have sex” — if you have a tired, unrelaxed, wound up tight woman, with LOW oxytocin reserves, there will be no sex that day, perhaps that week, likely even that month. Don’t shoot the messenger.

The key here is that although oxytocin is a feel good hormone for both men and women, women deplete their supply much faster than men, especially if she is under stress. The good news is that there are ways to naturally boost your oxytocin production.

Here’s How To Boost Your Oxytocin Production:

• Physical contact — hugs, massage, shaking hands, and breastfeeding. Now we all know that there is absolutely no place for shaking hands in bed…
• Eye contact — just not the kind where your eyebrows have a mind of their own.
• Laughing — presumably not “during” the throes of love-making. And probably not after either. Lest your partner bum out about their performance…or whatever you would call that last two minutes.
• Giving and receiving gifts, even money! Okay, that came out wrong…(not if you live on Long Island —Ed.)
• Receiving nurturing support drives up oxytocin for women. This is where women like to talk out their issues and NOT, repeat NOT receive constructive advice. So, partners of women out there. Don’t try to solve their problems. Just shut up, listen and show support. And to all the women or partners of men out there. Men cope with stress when they release or rebuild testosterone. One way they do that is by problem solving. That’s why they may enjoy fixing the toaster (or ruining it depending on your point of view). Problem solving rebuilds testosterone. So does watching TV with your pants unzipped. That is also stress reducing for men. Repulsive and irritating to women. But that’s how they recharge.
• Visualizing or meditating on prior intimate experiences or sexual fantasies. In fact, one well regarded New York sex therapist gives her patients homework to spend five minutes a day really focusing on positive, spicy sexual encounters or arousing fantasies. Preferably not while standing on line at Stop ‘n’ Shop or at the DMV. Lest you want a “When Harry Met Sally” moment at the diner as Meg Ryan demonstrated to Billy Crystal how easy it is to fake an orgasm…
• Listening to calming music
• Telling someone you love them or hearing from someone that you are loved. This is why Barney the purple sexually ambiguous gender fluid dinosaur was such a smash hit!

Is There A Supplement For That?

Oxytocin can be delivered as a nasal spray to impact mood, and potentially sexual interest, sensation and satisfaction. This is a prescription from a compounding pharmacy. It can’t be taken orally as it is quickly broken down in the GI tract. The nasal spray is 50 IU/ml in a 15 mL/ Spray Actuator. (0.1 mL/spray = 5 IU per spray) 1 spray in each nostril in the morning and one in each nostril at night. Use as needed 30 minutes prior to intimacy. This may be very helpful to improve the blahs in conjunction with work to deal with stress, anxiety, and relationship issues.

Is This All I Need?

Uh. NO. There are SO many layers to the conundrum of less than stellar sex and sex drive. There isn’t really “a pill” for that. There are a lot of layers to THAT onion, so be sure to work with your doctor or therapist to figure out the why behind your issues. However, it’s a great idea to have more tools in the toolbox and worth a try.

That does it. If you want to explore this further or want to dig deeper into your health problems, then contact our office for details about all the health restoring options we have available.

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For more information about my wellness programs and my practice, check out my website drsadaty.com. Hey Look!  You are already here…

Ready for the legal disclaimer? Information offered here is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. As with any health recommendations, please contact your doctor to be sure any changes you wish to consider are safe for you!